Fifty Shades of Red

Photo by  Damian Siodłak  on  Unsplash Toast To:  Parents trying their best. Song Pairing: Bryan Adams - "Somebody" (from the album, Reckless, 1984). Being a redhead taught me early on how to be noticed, misunderstood and underestimated - and fifty years later I finally see the  gift in that. I didn’t wake up at fifty with wisdom - I woke up with perspective, a lower tolerance for bullshit, and a lot of unfinished thoughts. Where do I begin? Well, I am going to start with where I think I went wrong. Or what I think it is at this point in my life. Cue drumroll…I listened to adults. Is your mind blown by my revelation? Shocking right? I, like most kids put all of my trust in elders cause kids look to adults as role models, believing they know what the fuck they’re doing.  What I didn’t know back then, is that not all adults have their shit together. Some of them come from really fucked up childhoods and it significantly impacts their ability to guide impress...

A Toast To:  Me.  Song Pairing:   Mumford & Sons - “The Banjo Song” (from the album, Prizefighter, 2026). Image Credit:  Personal Archives Four days into the new year. Weeks of anxiety. December is not my friend but rolling into a new year always appeals to me. Of course there is the fantastical bit of it, fresh start, clean slate, new cycle and resolutions - if you are in to that kind of thing. I used to be, back when I believed in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and true love. The years have jaded me as you may be able to tell, the magic slowly being stolen over time. Funnily enough I am still a big dreamer, I want a lot of things, I am just very realistic and live my life expecting the worst but always, always hoping for the best. I am still waiting on the universe to prove my approach is flawed.    According to the very basic numerology knowledge I have, I am entering Year 5:  Change and Freedom. Great. Felt like 2025 was pretty life changing but ...