Fifty Shades of Red

A Toast To: Keep on keeping on. Song Pairing: Serena Ryder "Better Now" (from the album, The Art of Falling Apart, 2021). Over the past year, I have lost about thirty pounds. I was this same weight in 2006 on my wedding day. The first one. I remember the number on the scale not being good enough back then. It was never good enough. Even today, being able to look at myself naked in front of the mirror more confidently than I ever have before, it’s still not enough. I don’t know that it ever will be, despite all the years and all that I have learned along the way. My mother birthed my nine-pound, thirteen-ounce ass, the good old-fashioned natural way, with ample drugs on board. In 1976, I was considered a big baby. Today, ten-pound kids seem to be more common. I blame processed foods, super-sizing, and Trump. I epitomized the pudgy-wudgy, chubby-cheeked, thunder thighs, roll-poly baby, except I one-upped all others and came out with a full head of red hair to boot. Pretty sure ...

A Toast To: Progress? Song Pairing: The Blue Stones "Come Apart" (from the album, METRO, 2025). Anxiety is a fucker. It's a thing I wish didn't exist. I am even annoyed with myself for giving it space on this page and more time than I already do. The fucker is with me most days, less so on good ones. With anxiety comes an expertise in the glorious world of mindfucking. Add in living alone and having a whole lot of time to myself, it's fucking wonder how or why I get my ass out of bed everyday. Definition of anxiety: 1a) apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impeding or anticipated misfortune b) an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate), by doubt concern the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it c) mentally distressing concern or interest  d) a strong desire sometimes mixed with doubt, fear, o...

Image Credit: Personal Archives A Toast To:  Four legged fur babies of past and present.  Song Pairing:   Finger Eleven - “I’ll Keep Your Memory Vague” (from the album, Them vs. You vs. Me, 2007). February 20th, 2026 marks National Love Your Pet Day. If you’re thinking “aren’t there other fur baby days?” Why yes, reader, thanks for asking. Let me tell you all about them! There are many official days throughout the calendar year that give pet parents and animal lovers a legit reason to celebrate. We’ve got National Dog Day, Cat Day, Puppy Day, Black Dog Day, Black Cat Day, Pet Day, Mutt Day…there are actually over 140 national days dedicated to pets, animals, and veterinarians.  For a full listing, ask Google. Animals being a part of my life started before I could even walk. My grandparents had Kaiser, I believe he was a Samoyed. Then there was Lady the Irish Setter and a lab named Zeus who lived next door and then…then there was Daisy. Daisy is not her real name. I w...

  Photo by  Inna Yashna  on  Unsplash A Toast To:  My girls. Song Pairing:   The Tragically Hip - "Ahead by A Century" (from the album, Trouble at the Henhouse, 1996). There is a saying older than I am about not judging books by covers. There is an even more iconic version of this having to do with wine and labels. Squirrel moment - Daniel Levy, please know there will always be wine and a place at my table for you. In true Red style I shall just get into it. I judge people. Always have. I was very clear in the About Me page of my blog that I would write without filter. With that often comes brutal honesty. First impressions are huge to me. My intuition is stronger than most, so generally my intention isn’t to judge but I can’t help it if my first impression of people is generally bang on. It’s all about a persons energy for me. Now do I ever fake it? Of course I do. I think it's unavoidable, especially today when speaking the truth can be dangerous. I have...

Photo by  Damian Siodłak  on  Unsplash Toast To:  Parents trying their best. Song Pairing: Bryan Adams - "Somebody" (from the album, Reckless, 1984). Being a redhead taught me early on how to be noticed, misunderstood and underestimated - and fifty years later I finally see the  gift in that. I didn’t wake up at fifty with wisdom - I woke up with perspective, a lower tolerance for bullshit, and a lot of unfinished thoughts. Where do I begin? Well, I am going to start with where I think I went wrong. Or what I think it is at this point in my life. Cue drumroll…I listened to adults. Is your mind blown by my revelation? Shocking right? I, like most kids put all of my trust in elders cause kids look to adults as role models, believing they know what the fuck they’re doing.  What I didn’t know back then, is that not all adults have their shit together. Some of them come from really fucked up childhoods and it significantly impacts their ability to guide impress...